The Hotel Bill

Stories and Poems by our members.

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Alan SHARP
Posts: 612
Joined: Tue Apr 06, 2010 9:41 pm
Location: Waikato, New Zealand

The Hotel Bill

Post by Alan SHARP » Thu Dec 09, 2010 1:36 am

Greetings, from New Zealand.

A relative doing family history research in Australia, has just emailed me this joke. As it has what I think is a good sting in it's tail, I'll take the risk of a slap on the wrist from Admin, and post it as my contribution to TalkingScots 6th Birthday.

It's set in Dundee, and is the sort of joke that Montrose Budie encourages me to send him, then scolds me
after spilling hot coffee on his computer keyboard.

If it has done the rounds before, please acept my apologies, as it is the first time that I have seen it.

The Hotel Bill

Next time you think your hotel bill is too high, you might want to consider this:

My wife and I were travelling by car from Liverpool to Shetland. Being Seniors, after almost seven hours on the road, we were too tired to continue, and decided to take an hotel room in Dundee. But, we only planned to sleep overnight and then get back on the road. When we checked out next morning, the desk clerk handed us a bill for €250.00.

I explode and demanded to know why the charge was so high. I told the clerk although it's a nice hotel; the rooms certainly aren't worth €250.00 for just an overnight stop without even breakfast. The clerk told me that €250.00 is the 'standard rate' so I insisted on speaking to the Manager.

The Manager appeared, listened to me, and then explained that the hotel had an Olympic-sized pool and a huge conference centre that they were available for us to use. 'But we didn't use them," I said. ''Well, they are here, and you could have," explained the Manager.

He went on to explain that we could also have taken in one of the in-hotel shows for which the hotel is famous. "We have the best entertainers from Edinburgh, Glasgow, and Aberdeen performing here," the Manager said.

"But we didn't go to any of those shows," I said. "Well, we have them, and you could have," the Manager replied.

No matter what amenity the Manager mentioned, I replied, "But we didn't use it!"

The Manager is unmoved, and eventually I gave up and agreed to pay.

I wrote a cheque and gave it to the Manager.

The Manager was surprised when he looked at the cheque. "But sir, this cheque is only made out for €50.00." ''That's correct. I charged you €200.00 for sleeping with my wife," I replied.

"But I didn't!" exclaims the Manager.

I said, "Well, too bad, she was here, and you could have."

Anne H
Global Moderator
Posts: 2127
Joined: Sat Apr 30, 2005 5:12 pm
Location: Scotland

Re: The Hotel Bill

Post by Anne H » Thu Mar 10, 2011 7:20 pm

Hi Alan,

Not the kind of thing I expect on a genealogy forum but it did bring a chuckle at the end. :)

Regards,
Anne H