Requests to view tree ?

[Tracey]

Am i alone in this ?
When through genesre i get a message asking me if someone can view my tree I now try to establish a definite direct namesake link before i allow it as now over the years i have enough information to find a link. I am loath to allow someone who is connected via an off shoot to have access to it all. Just last week i got a request to view my tree. The person didnt send a message along with it explaining who she thought we may have in common so i wrote back saying i hope she wouldnt be offended but unless i have some idea who she is looking for access wouldnt be possible. Needles to say she never replied !
I am more than delighted when there is a direct connection and am willing to share, remembering we all have to start somewhere but i have found that one particular person i helped has suddenly gone from 150 ish names a few weeks ago to well over 2000. I supplied him with a few generations of his names connected to mine - which he didnt have - and was very ungreatful and his response was that he had sent me all of his tree which i didnt ask for and consisted of mostly living people. I assume he is just grabbing every connection and adding it to his without the "hassle" of putting the hard work in himself.
I have made some fantastic connections (away from genesre) and i think you get to know the serious ones and have no qualms in divulging all to them as they have for me and we have all been able to work together and supply valuable information.
So now if at all i only give information concerning the name in question and go from there.
Have i become too precious and protective or is this a normal reaction once you reach a certain stage ?

[DavidWW]

Tracey

This is a common problem, becoming even more so as genealogy becomes ever more popular.

I'd consider that your cautious approach is correct, most especially in the context of the ever increasing number of horror stories that I'm hearing about people "hijacking" the trees of others and then the providers find that their trees are published on the web without any permission having been sought (possibly including info on living relatives), and, often, with incorrect linkages into other trees.

I'm all for co-operation between researchers, but would take the view that there needs to be a dialogue over a period of time, and clear understanding of the link and what will be done with any information that is exchanged before every last piece of information is supplied to someone that you've never "met" before.

Let's put it this way, .... if someone contacted me tomorrow, saying that they were a distant cousin, and asking for all the information on my tree, then, while I'd greatly welcome the contact, and make that clear, there's just no way that I'd immediately send a GEDCOM of my full tree.

Instead, I'd send some info, and then, depending on how the dialogue developed, and the info supplied back to me, might well eventually supply all that I have, but only ever on the understanding that the info supplied is not for publication on the www unless that has been agreed, and most certainly not for supply to organisations which then charge for access to the info via CDs or www sites

A cynical approach, some might comment. Yes, but justifiably so, I'd argue, in terms of some of the things I've seen happening.

David

[Tracey]

Thank you David

Its reasuring coming from a wise one. My tree was "hijacked" once (and published) about 8 months ago and added to one that already contained 1000,s of names ( the sort if i find just skip straight past ) i went ballistic and he removed it with an appology and cynical me, i do keep an eye on his tree now

[pinkshoes]

This topic was discussed on one of the boards on Genes recently. On it, someone gave an example of a relative who'd been mean with information, suggesting it may have been because the person was Scottish. I didn't embarrass him by responding on the forum, but sent a pm suggesting he revise his post which could be seen as offensive. I also gave him the address of a wonderful website where lots of people (Scottish and others) were extreme in their generosity in helping strangers. Interestingly, the post was revised but I didn't hear diddly from him by way of apology or explanation (or argument, even)!

When I started out I was so delighted to receive any contact that I immediately turned over everything I had. Then the lights went on, so now I make sure there's a genuine connection, and drip-feed from there, providing there's some give and take. When that sort of connection is made, there's real opportunity for friendship based on a common theme.

Pinkshoes

[Joan]

Hello everyone,
As a person who is relatively new to family tree research and has become totally addicted I read all the postings avidly. I have used Genes over the past 6 months and have experienced both sides of the coin. I was contacted by one person and opened up my tree to them and have been overwhelmed by the amount of research and information which they gave me. This was on my husband’s English side, and the person provided tons of research, copy certificates, the lot, it was so brilliant that I am still going through it and feel riddled with guilt that I have nothing to add. I keep thanking him but it doesn’t feel adequate. On my side a woman in Australia provided me with source details for one side of my family (now verified ) going back to the 1740s. Again thanks didn’t seem enough. I have also had the reverse side of the coin where I have opened up my tree and people have taken what I have researched, added to their tree with not a thank you or even an acknowledgement to me. On other occasions I am in regular contact with others where we share what we find and we help each other along. Maybe because I am new my attitude is that I love seeing my ancestors plastered everywhere and perhaps because of my luck with the generosity of others, and the fact I love doing it, I just ignore those few ungrateful lot who get everywhere.

[DysartPete]

Hiya,
You may have read in my other posts, that I recently made contact with a relative in Scotland who has been researching our family tree for a number of years.
Before we swapped any info we had a chat and we both agreed on certain things....one being that the tree does not appear in full on the net and any new info we share with each other etc.
I had a great time talking with my newly found relative....and he has since added over 1200 names to my tree which I'm over the moon about - I found out loads of things,one being that I was sitting next to cousins at school I never knew I was related to!
There's a wee bit of a downside for me,I don't mean to be ungrateful,but I enjoy the digging for info,solving the puzzles and finding things after long searches and feeling great when I work things out!... I feel like I have a ready made tree and I haven't really had the highs n lows to get it.
But I have contact with family-a really interesting man and full of information.....and still have my Grans side of the family 'Reid' to do....he hasn't touched that side yet

[LesleyB]

Hi Pete

There's a wee bit of a downside for me,I don't mean to be ungrateful,but I enjoy the digging for info,solving the puzzles and finding things after long searches and feeling great when I work things out!... I feel like I have a ready made tree and I haven't really had the highs n lows to get it.

Yes, I know that feeling. Not long after I'd started my tree I made contact with a distant relative on the web via an Ayrshire noticeboard. She very kindly gave me lots of names and dates and a whole branch of my tree was pretty much mapped out. We communicated for a while swapping bits of information and what I had in my direct line solved a mystery name that she'd been puzzled by. We swapped a couple of old photos too, which was great - I love old photos. I've since dug deeper into that branch but it is never a side I feel "connected" to. I always feel somehow distant and just not into it. I'm sure this must be true of other people researching, not just me, that there are certain branches you feel more in tune with or more interested in but I can't help but think that the reason I don't feel involved in that particular branch is beacase I didn't have the "highs and lows" you mention.

Its funny isn't it - you always think "I just need that bit of information, and then I'll be happy" ...but its never enough, there is always the next question, which is often posed by the piece of information you just picked up!!

Best wishes
Lesley

[Tracey]

Hello Joan

When i started out i hadnt a clue where to look or who for as my dad couldnt remember 100% his grandmothers sir name. Then after it was found and asking some more i was told she lived with a Scottish Violinist so i put his name in the search box and up come Aberdeen University site low and behold there was a bit included on it about my gt grandmother. I got in touch with Pat who wrote the piece and even better she had met some of my Scottish family (my dads cousins) who i had never met and put me in touch with them. They passed on to me everything they had so far on that particular name and from that i have gone on to find much much more and we share everything simply because it gives us amunition to find others. Also because of this they visit us Down South every year which is great.
Despite my gripe, dont feel guilty that you cant offer anything back as with most of us when we find a genuinly interested connected person there is nothing more satisfying than knowing you have made someone very happy and they may be able to find something we missed - fresh eyes an all ! and however small the information it can be the bit we have all been waiting for !

My aim was to find out about the people in my past - quality not quantity - which i have managed to do - as i didnt want a long list of names and dates and know nothing about them so in comparison to some my tree is relatively small.

My cousin recently decided to start looking and i told him i will tell him anything he wanted but if i tell him all it will take the fun out of it for him I didnt mention the cost