Not Sure What To Do

Miss Poohs · Post by **Miss Poohs** » Tue May 13, 2008 8:26 pm

OK - I've been looking at my maternal grandfathers family - I never knew my grandfather, and have only discovered that there was 1 sister and 3 brothers.

They are all dead now, but I have managed to trace out their families and have discovered that one of them lives not far from me - this would have been my mums cousin.

He'll be 74 and I would love to make contact with him - am I bonkers for even considering it?

As much as I'd love to meet him, I wouldn't have a clue what to say or do to initiate such a meeting.

I'm not after anything except perhaps to see some family photos, should there be any, and to let him see the piccies and info I have should he be interested.

What would you do, forget it altogether of try and make contact?

David Lang · Post by **David Lang** » Tue May 13, 2008 9:00 pm

Write a letter to him with your contact details.

If he responds he is interested , if he doesnt he isnt and you havent encroached on his privacy.

Or if you dont want to be subtle just turn up at his door!!!!

scooter · Post by **scooter** » Tue May 13, 2008 9:32 pm

I'd go with the letter option first above all else. Of all the letters I've written in the past to 'living' cousins, I've had replies to about 75% (usually by phone). The most recent being to a cousin of my Grandfather's who is now 86 and fortunately has a razor sharp memory. He's probably about the only person alive who knew my Great Grandparents and the stories he's told me have been worth every penny of the first class stamp.

As David says, put the ball in their court and see what arises. You might be pleasantly surprised.

Good luck!

Scott

Post by **Anne H** » Tue May 13, 2008 10:48 pm

Hi Miss Poohs!

I definitely agree with the letter approach...not really a good idea to turn up on his doorstep! Let him know how thrilled you are to have found a living relative and leave the rest up to him. If he doesn't respond you haven't lost anything, but if he does, you might gain a friend and get a little information and some treasured photographs into the bargain.

Good luck

Regards,
Anne H

Currie · Post by **Currie** » Wed May 14, 2008 3:08 am

Give it a go Miss Poohs. If he is your Mother’s first cousin and they lived in the same general area then there’s a good chance he knew your mother and you have a common bond. It wouldn’t be like a completely strange 3rd cousin or whatever turning up out of the blue whose family lost contact with yours 100 years ago. Maybe he knows of you or even remembers you from when you were too young to remember him.

Alan

Maz · Post by **Maz** » Wed May 14, 2008 10:30 am

I also think the letter is a good idea - I sent the son of my grandmother's cousin a email (he's in Scotland) and just asked if he remembered hearing about the family in Australia. I also felt a bit apprehensive as I found his name on the net as he has written quite a few books and been interviewed on Scottish radio. I thought he might feel I was intruding and unlike me would not be interested in the family history I was mistaken - he and his wife were so excited and sent me a copy of what they have on the family and we have kept in touch ever since.

So I say give it a go what have you got to loose.

Miss Poohs · Post by **Miss Poohs** » Wed May 14, 2008 10:35 am

Thanks everyone - a letter it is

I'd just love to, be able to say hello and put a face to the name.

I mentioned it to my dad last night and apparently he and my mum went to see him a few times, when he had a shop in Glasgow, this would have been back in the late 1940's to early 1950's.

I'll put pen to paper and see what happens.

scooter · Post by **scooter** » Wed May 14, 2008 1:34 pm

Let us know how you get on!

trish1 · Post by **trish1** » Wed May 14, 2008 3:16 pm

I would phone him - I have a problem with letters as to what to do if you do not get a reply
- Did they get the letter
- Did they not want contact
- Did they simply forget to reply
One is left wondering.

I haven't yet had a negative response from a phone call. I have had one - not very interested - but willing to pass on basic information. I have had 3 calls which resulted in very postitive results.

I don't do this very often - takes me weeks to work up the courage to call!

Trish

Assuming you have written - do hope you get a good response & don't have to worry about why not

Currie · Post by **Currie** » Wed May 14, 2008 4:19 pm

You’re right Trish, about letters.

I’ve been in that situation.

If you don’t get a reply you can be left wondering for an awful long time.

Alan