Still writin fae America

[mesklin]

Hello Maggie an th bairns

Ah ken it's no somethin ah normally dae, Maggie, but ah hiv tae tell ye aboot the big shops thae hiv oot here.

We aw went roond tae th local supermarket, cause Erchie wis runnin oot o baccy fur his roll-yer-ains. Ah telt him tae be careful, but ye ken Erchie. Mooth furst an brain second. He went up tae the fellah ahent the till an says "Hiv ye goat onny fags in here?".
Goad, whit a stushie! Ah thocht the place wis gaun tae erupt. The wee man in the car park attendant's uniform startit wavin a gun aroond. The manager wis shoutin his heid aff - an the man ahent th till gied Erchie his phone number. Wis awfy nice o him. Took us aboot half an hour tae sort it oot. Frae whit ah understand, aw th big shops hae a park bench tucked roond the side, whaur aw th smokers c'n sit doon an hae a puff. Left Erchie oot there. Thocht it wis safer.

At first, ah thocht the big shop couldnae be onny guid, cause it wis nearly empty. Fund oot later, maist o them are like that. An that wee devil that pits th nail marks in the fruit - he certainly disnae bide in these pairts. Ye w'd like the fruit an veg - they caw it 'proadiss' fur some reason - it's aw nice an fresh lookin.

They sell mulk by th gallon, an ye'll no believe this...
...they sell beans in tins big enough tae yaise as a bucket efterwards. An they sell chips in pokes! Only they turned oot tae be crisps. They nearly h'd somethin there!

Ah dae recognise onny o th names, but ah read th pictures, an we'll no starve.

Aw mah love
Malcom

ps H'd tae stop Erchie fae phonin that number. Ah'll explain when we get hame an th bairns are awa tae their beds.

[Anne H]

You had me in stitches! I needed the laugh...thanks very much

Regards,
AnneH

[CatrionaL]

Dave
Alasdair Cook has nothing on you!!!!

Catriona

[marilyn morning]

Dave,

Welcome to America! For one reason or another Corporate America has to super size everything. Example; houses, cars, french fries, people, supermarkets etc. Sadly, eating up small business in its path. With that being said

Your letter home is very funny and I really laughed a good one!

Regards
Marilyn