Glesca Patter 18

[Moonwatcher]

First posted on SPDG 18 April 2004

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Glesca Patter 18

Effternin all!

It’s a dreich day the day ah’ll tell ye. Lookin oot the windae, the clouds urr scrapin aff the chimneys, the rain’s drizzlin doon an it’d chill ye tae the bone. Even the seagulls urr werrin wellies. The lassie oan the Sky Weather Channel his jist said ‘...and in northwest Scotland it will be grey with scattered showers.’ Naw hen , it’s dreich, that’s whit it is, DREICH! [Scottish Dictionary (see Smiddy’s post) – ‘Dreich’.] How’d ah manage tae miss that wan aff the Patter? No tae worry, let’s move oan.

Glesca Superstitions.

‘Never cut yer toenails oan a Sunday!’ mah Mammy used tae say that wae the utmaist conviction. Wher this gem came fae ah’ve nae idea. Furr a while a thoat it wis a religious thing, some little known edict fae Leviticus. But naw, it turned oot that it wis because ‘It’ll bring ye bad luck!’

As a wean that set meh thinkin [see, even then I was guilty eh that]. Here ah wis, in a singel en’ tenement slum, the worst in Europe bae aw accoonts, a chemical smog hingin ower the street fae the nearby chemical, steel, copper and engineerin works. TB, polio, smallpox an scarlet fever wirr rampant an considered killers; ah hid tae watch wher a pit mah hauns an feet in the hoose in case a goat caught in the moosetraps; nearby buildins wirr fawin doon bae thimsells as the risin damp converged wae the descendin dry rot! The bigger picture wisnae that great either, the gossip amang the grown ups bein aw aboot the cauld war and the threat of nuclear annihilation…!

An ah wisnae allowed tae cut mah toenails oan a Sunday cos it wid bring meh bad luck!!!

Whin ye think aboot it, ther wis a loat a that kinna hing. Apart fae no walkin unner a ladder, brekkin mirrors an aw the usual stuff, ther wir other taboos an rituals lik… includin a small coin in the wrappin eh a gift if the pressie wis sharp. The theory wis that includin the coin avoided the friendship being severed by the sharp object! Ah’d ah thoat an elastaplast urr at least a ten boab note wid hiv bin a better idea. So, if ye goat a penknife furr yer burthday, a threepenny bit wid be stuck tae it so ye widnae faw oot wae yer Mammy! No thit mah mammy ever trustit me wae a penknife ye unnerstaun!

Coins seemed tae figure high in Glesca superstition. Dis anybiddy remember new boarn weans getting presented wae… ah furget whit it wis cawed, wis it a ‘christenin piece?’… two buttered tea biscuits wae a coin sandwiched in between. Whit wis that aw that aboot?

If sumbdy goat a new purse, wallet urr handbag, a coin wid be inside tae ensure ‘ye wir never withoot money!’ That yin never worked furr me ah kin tell ye!

‘Green furr Grief!’ wis a common phrase used bae mah Mammy an Gran. Ah don’t remember ever hivin any claithin thit wis green. Ah continued tae believe this furr years. Ah avoidit green claithes lik the plague, expectin tae bae struck bae lightnin urr some terrible disease if a pit oan a perra green soaks!

Back tae coins again. Dae any eh ye remember a sixpence bein pit in the burthday cake?
Ah wunner how minny weans choked oan thir burthday cakes when they inhaled the wee sixpenny bit! Probably jist the wans werrin the green buthday jumpers ah’d imagin!!

An when sumdy died, white sheets wid be pit up at the windae. Wis this supposed tae prevent evil spirits getting in urr sumhin? Ah never quite unnerstood that wan either. Ah think it might hiv been a throwback tae Irish customs an roots.

Mah Granny Yuill [remember her?] used tae dae sumhin wae tea leaves. Ah cannae remember the rhyme she wid say or the reason, but ah wid haud mah haun oot, palm facin doon, an she wid sprinkle dry tea leaves oan the back eh mah haun (this was in the days affore teabags). She wid say a wee ryhme an then rub the tea leaves against the skin. Lik ah say, memory fails oan the purpose eh this bit ah know she used tae dae it evry time ah’d visit. Ah wis quite disappointit when she stoaped [I was 21 by that time!]

‘Ne’er cast a cloot tae May’s oot!’ That wis a springtime favourite. Noo, it’s a fact thit, in Scoatlind the month of May (an sometimes even late April) tends tae gie ye some good weather. In fact, some years, it’s the only good weather ye get! So furr a week urr so the sun shines an it kin get very nice, even hoat! BUT, as soon as ye ditched the duffle coat, scarf, pullover an wellies an rummaged aboot the drawer furr the teashirt an sannies (sandshoes), yer mammy wis oan ye lik a shoat – ‘Ne’er cast a cloot tae May’s oot!’ she’d say, finger pointin in the err. An oan went aw the winter claithes again. Ye’d end up staunin in the school playgrun sweatin buckets an hopin it wid rain an cool ye doon. When ye questioned the logic eh this gem of parental wisdom ye goat a long tale of how unspeakable diseases wid strike ye doon if ye removed warm claithin affore the end a May! Of course, years later ah learned that the rhyme disnae relate tae the month of May at aw, but tae the May Flower! Noo ah don’t know when the Mayfloo-er opens it’s petals, ah don’t even know whit it looks like when it dis. Wan hing ah ahm sure eh, thir wisnae ony growin through the tarmac an cement a Glesca. Thers even a good chance it disnae even exist north a Carlisle! So whit chance did we hiv? When ah think eh it – aw they years, dressed furr the Arctic an sufferin heat exhaustion…

Anybiddy goat any merr Glesca (urr Scottish) superstitions?

P

panel –
Officially aff sick fae work. ‘Ah’m oan eh panel.’ Means yiv bin tae the doactir, goat yir sick line (panel line) an proudly presentit it tae yir boss as proof thit ye really urr at death’s door an cannae work.

pan loaf –
Another term furr a posh accent.

pap –
Throw or to throw out. ‘Jist pap that ower here.’ or ‘Eh wis causin trouble, so ah papped im oot.’

paralettic –
Drunk.

parish –
Oan the dole. Receiving government aid. Ye dont hear this term noo.
‘Aye, ah loast mah joab last week so ah’ve signed oan the parish.’
Must be a throwback tae the days of parish subsistence.

patter –
Whit we dae here.

peely wally –
Pale, sick looking
‘Yer lookin awfae peely wally hen. Ye want tae get doon tae the doactir and get a panel line.’

peep –
To put some one in their place.
‘Eh tried tae tell meh thit he wis the boss cos he wis the wan thit went oot tae work an broat in the wages.’
‘Diddeh? An whit did ye tell im? Ye didnae let im aff wae that diddye?’
‘No bliddy likely! Ah jist pointit tae the three weans needin fed, washed an chinged, the stack a dishes tae be washed, the big list a messages thit hid tae be broat in, the windaes thit needit washin, the flerr that needit swept, the sterrs thit needit cleaned, the dinner thit wis still tae be cooked... That pit eez gess (gas) oan a peep!’

peever –
An auld gemme the lassies used tae play. They’d draw squers oan the pavement urr playgrun an write numbers in thim. Then they’d skite a can alang the grun intae the squers. Then they’d dae this ridiculous hoppin thing ower the squers while chantin some unintelligable rhyme. Funny things lassies!

plank –
To hide something. ‘Ah cannae find it. Eh must’ve planked it.’

playpiece –
Yer sandwiches furr school playtime.

plook –
The dreaded adolescent spot. Or somebiddy ye dont like ‘See that wee plook, ah cannae staun im.’

pochle –
To steal. ‘Eh goat fired fae eez joab efftir they caught im pochlin fae the till.’

poke –
A wee paper bag. A crisp poke.

polis –
Glesca’s finest. Upholders of the law. Issuers of speedin tickets, harrassers of innocent drunks. Sources of direction tae the loast. Home tae wee gnomes (that’s why ye always see them talkin tae the inside eh thir jaikits!)

puggled –
Yet another term furr bein drunk.

pump –
Hiv tae be kerful wae this wan. To pump is to pass flatus. Naw, no deflate! Jist tae pass flatus.

pun –
A pound weight. ‘A pun ah mince.’

puntie up-
To give someone a lift up.
‘Ah need tae get up oan tap eh the wa tae see whits goin oan. Gie meh a puntie up wid ye!’

[Guest]

I well remember the penny in a wallet or purse.My daughter gave her brother a piggy bank for Christmas and I told her to put a penny in it as I wasn't sure of the difference.Wallet /piggybank both for money.
As to the white sheet on the window at a death I remember when we first moved into our new house Mum would close the curtains every time a funeral procession passed.As there was a funeral parlor at both ends of the street that soon was stopped.
And if we told on one another our Dad would say don't clipe(sorry about the spelling there I'm trying to get a long "I" sound as in wipe.)
HK