Glesca Patter 24

[Moonwatcher]

First posted on SPDG 6 Jun 2004
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Glesca Patter 24

Effternin aw!

Well, mah auld laptoap hiz finally depertit tae the great keyboard in eh sky! Cracked motherboard wiz the diagnosis! The Patter obviously goat to much furr it an it jist…cracked up! So, while ah try an figure how tae get mah hauns oan a new wan, ah’m writin this wae a pigeon feather an indian ink. The auld waes urr definitly eh best. Excuse the blots – eh pigeon’s stull werrin eh feather!

Ah’d like tae hiv finished the tour ah Eastirhoose in eh traditional wae; A Pub Crawl. Bit thirz a wee proabem wae that. No enough pubs! Noo it’s hard tae believe that, bit even nooadays ah kin only think a four pubs in Eastirhoose. It wis even worse in eh early days!

Early Eastirhoose wiz virtually a ‘dry’ area. Tae unnerstaun eh impact eh this oan eh average workin [an drinkin] man, ye hiv tae realise thit auld Glesca wiz a city of pubs. Visitors wurr ayewaes amazed bae the fact thit oan virtually evry street coarner thir wis a public hoose. No oanly aht, in atween each coarner ther wiz anither two urr three, urr merr, dependin oan the length eh the tenement block! ‘Havens of modest charm’ maist eh thim, wae sawdust oan eh flerr an ‘friendly shadows’. Even in eh 70s when maist eh the auld tenements hid come doon, the pubs oan eh coarners wurr stull left staunin! Honest! Nuthin tae either side eh thim an nuthin above thim. Whole tenement blocks wurr demolished leavin jist eh wee pubs sittin lik beer islands in a sea a wasteland. Sumbdy wance telt meh thit the reason furr this wiz some ancient bye law. Some edict passed bae King James the sumhin decreein thit Glesca pubs couldnae bae demoalisht! Dunno if thir wis any truth in aht, bit if thir is ah kin only assume thit King Jimmy hid an awfy taste furr a Glesca hauf n’ hauf. Wae sa minny pubs it wis quite possible tae visit a large number in wan ootin, wae little ‘travel’ time in atween! This gave rise tae the Glesca tradition of ‘The Pub Crawl’. Basically, a group of ‘participants’ enter a pub, hiv wan drink, move oan tae the nixt, hiv anither, move oan tae the nixt… ye get the idea! The oabjict is tae visit as minny pubs as possible [which could be quite a number!] afore the laws of toxicology, physics and gravity finally took thir toll an nae further movement was possible.

The point is this, whin the masses moved oot tae Eastirhoose thir wurr nae pubs! Guys thit wurr used tae steppin oot the close right intae the pub an en gaun fae pub tae pub doon the length eh the street fun thimsells in a wee bit a trouble;

Scene: 17:30 hours Ootside the C-oop in Duntarvie Road, Eastirhoose c.late 1950s
Jimmy: ‘Right, urr wae aw here?
Shug: ‘Aye!’ Aw set.
Shooie:‘Aye!’
Jimmy: ‘Good lets get gaun, whers eh pub? Shug, you say ye know wher wan iz?’
Shug: ‘Aye, this wae.’

17:45. Coarner ah Aberdalgie Road an Easterhouse Rd.
Jimmy: ‘Urr you sure ye know wher yir gaun?’
Shug: ‘Aye! Ah think so, it’s aroon here sumwher.’
Shooie: [breathless]‘Ah knew wae should’ve broat a kerry oot!’
Jimmy: ‘Look! Ther’s some guys headin up aht wae, foaly thim!’

18:20. Ootside Co-op in Duntarvie Road.
Jimmy: ‘Yir awright Shooie, jist lie stull big man, eh ambulance u’ll bae here in a minute. Shug’s awae eh fun a phone!’
Shooie: ‘Aah! Eh better hurry up, eh pain’s getting worse!’
Jimmy: ‘Trust you tae hiv a hert attack oan oor furst night oot!’

Eh days eh the pub crawl wurr well an truly ower!

If eh guys hid only known, eh nearest pubs wir in eh auld village eh Eastirhoose, an it wis a fair trek furr them thit wurr used tae hivvin pubs oan thir doostep. The two auld village pubs [ah hink wan wis called eh Brig Bar] wurr wee an pokey. Ah wis too young tae drink in em days bit ah remember staunin ootside an askin guys tae take emmty beer boatles in furr iz an redeem the money oan thim furr iz. Keekin in, thae wirr smokey holes, jam packed wae men, wae eh deafenin soon ah chatter, shoutin, laughin an chinkin ah glesses – ah couldnae wait tae grow up! Sometimes folk jist couldnae get in, the place wis aht crowdit. An if thae did it could bae a real rammy tae fight yir wae tae eh bar an oardir a drink!

Further oan, in eh direction eh Baillieston, thir wis a third pub ‘The Swinton’. This wis a bit bigger an merr modern as ah recall. Bit it wiz a helluva trek! An tae make maiters wurse it wiz uphill! An aht wis it! Yir choices wurr really limitit. Minny guys endit up soberer an fitter bae gaun tae the pub thin thae hid evir bin in thir lives!

The only alternative wis tae get oan a bus an travel oot eh scheme. Drastic measures, bit that wis the wae eh it. ‘The Steps’ wis a hotel bar away oot oan the Embra Road aht eh fit eh Cranhill. It wisnae easy tae get tae. Then came the Dalriada in Carntyne. This bar wiz new, modern an HUGE. Wae it’s ‘drinkin man’s bar’ doonsterrs, nice lounge upsterrs, an a restaurant through the wa’, it became a firm favuritt. A corporation bus [route 41] drapped ye aff itt the door eh the ‘Dal’ an wis ther furr ye tae faw oan tae at chuckin oot time. Ah remember mah Da tellin meh thit whin it furst oapint thae hid wee dishes eh nuts oan the tables in eh bar. But bae the time ah wiz drinkin in eh Dal the only nuts tae bae seen wurr some eh the clientele! Some suggested it’s name be chinjed tae the ‘Flyin Tumbler’! The ither hing aboot the Dal wis it wis right acroass froam wher, years later, ah wid work. Minny’s the night a group eh iz wid finish a shift an walk ower tae the Dal furr ‘a quick swally’. Needless tae say some eh these swallys lacked eh element ah quick! The Dal wiz great. If government powers hid bin merr oan eh ball thaed hiv realised it’s potential an set up parliament in the Dal Bar! This wiz wher great decisions wurr made an wrongs wurr pit tae right. Bridges wurr built. Politics eh the day wurr resolved. Bridges wurr demolished. Fitbaw matches wurr relived bae the real ‘experts’. World crisis wurr soartit oot in a hauf oor. Ye could learn anyhin ye wantit tae know [as long is ye payed furr yir roon!] Some hings ye wurr better aff no known bit ye fun it fascinatin aw the same. Lik the night ‘The Camlachie Commando’ gave us a blow bae blow accoont a how eh single handidly scaled a cliff durin WW2, took oot the enemy guard wae cheesewire, an went oan tae save eez men an the wurld. Great story, gied extra dimension bae eez practical demonstrations aht eh bar.

The furst pub tae actually be built within Eastirhoose wis… wait furr it…‘The Kasba’ I kid you not! Noo, if yir brain is currently conjurin up pictures ah belly dancers, fez’s an Turkish Delight; furget it. Needless tae say the Kasba wis nuthin like that. The nearest eh Kasba evir goat tae a belly dancer wis a Homer Simpson look alike who’d hid wan too minny an tried tae dance oan a table! The Kasba sat, aff the Lochend Road, at the edge eh some thick woodland. A path led through the woods up tae the rear eh the gruns (grounds) eh Gartloch Psychiatric Hospital. Pity the poor sowels that kim oot the bar at night an staggered left insteed ah right. They’d fine thimsells hackin thir wae through the woods tryin tae fine thur wae oot. Some eh thim, ahm sure, endit up comin oot the ither side, right intae the hauns eh the men in white coats, nevir tae bae seen again! I believe the Kasba is noo ‘The Lochwood Inn.’

Eventually, two ither pubs wurr built an exist tae this day as ‘Griers’ an ‘The Centaur’. The former played host to mah faither an I durin the troublesome days of oor reationship as eh tried tae gie meh faitherly advice in mah plooky youth. [Advice ah noo fine mahsell tryin tae recycle an gie tae mah lads!] But, lik ah said, the days eh the pub crawl wurr ower whin folk moved tae Eastirhoose and ah hope ah’ve mibby gied yeez a wee flavour ah wan tae end this series.

Easterhouse People.

Wan April moarnin in 1977, ah nervously stepped intae a black limo ootside mah hoose in Boyndie Street [we’d moved ther in ‘63] an wiz driven oot the scheme tae mah weddin in Clydebank. Wae drove up Duntarvie Road, wher the school buses hid aw lined up aw thae years previous, past the shoaps thit took ower fae the vans, roon past the road end thit led tae the remainin village pub [the ither wan wis run ower bae the M8!] Past the big shoapin mall that noo sat oan the grun thit Frankie an eh rest eh iz watched aw the weapons getting thown in a pile. Bye aw the streets an closes wher ah used swoap coamics, doon tae the Embra Road and oot past eh Dal. Although I’d never live in the scheme again, my work as an ambulanceman meant that it would still be part of my patch for a few years to come. I knew the people well. I’ve delivered their weans, stopped their bleeding, splinted their limbs. I’ve laughed with them and shared in their distress. I’ve resuscitated a few and watched others pass on their way. I’ve helped the old dears up and down the stairs on their way to and from their clinics.

To the people of Easterhouse I say thankyou and good luck. They're good people - Scotland’s People.

T

tae -
To

tackety boots-
Heavy workin boots boots wae metal studs in eh soles.
‘Evryhin wiz quiet tae sumbiddy stertit clumin aboot in tackety boots.

Tally-
The ‘Tally Shoap’ was synonymous with the best ice cream. Among the mix of immigrants to Glasgow in the late 19th early 20th centuries were large numbers of Italians. Many of these set up ice cream making businesses and gained high reputation in that field, especially on the coastal resorts. Names like ‘Gizzy’ and ‘Ardini’ were known to all. The latter is still going strong in the Scottish coastal town of Troon [I know that because I had a ‘pokey hat’ there last summer]. Nowadays there might be a problem with this word, given the PC hysteria that exists. But in Glasgow it’s never been other than a term of endearment, a bit like ‘Jock’ to us Scots.
tank-
To defeat. To speed.
‘Ah reckon mah team’ll tank your oan Seturday!

‘Wae wurr late so wae hid tae tank it up eh road.’

tap. toap –
Top

tea –
Dinner
Irate Glesa wifie (answerin eh phone); ‘Hullo! Wher urr ye? Inna pub!! Dae ye know whit time it is? Yer tea’s oan eh table!’
Long sufferin Glesca husband; Well, when ye finally get hame ye’ll fine yir tea in eh cat!’
IGW; ‘Well, whin ye get hame ye’ll fine yir tea in eh cat!’

terr-
A good time.
‘It wiz a rerr terr!’

teem –
A word used a lot in Glesca! During a downpour of heavy rain it’s said to be ‘teemin doon.’

telt-
Told.
‘Ah telt ye no tae buy anyhin fae the Barras, did ah no tell ye? If ah’ve telt ye wance ah’ve telt ye a hunner times. Ah mean ah ask ye, whit urr wae gonnae dae wae a record player thit only plays 78s? An thersno even a plug oan it! Ah telt ye so ah did!’

ten bob-
See GP furra explanation of old currency.

teuchter-
Lowlander’s term furr a highlander.

ther –
There

thae. thaem –
They. Them.

thingmy. thingwae –
Great word, used to describe something or somebody you cant remember the name of;
‘Heh Jimmy!.. Gonnae ask eh…Thingmy, if ee’ll gie meh a len eh eez eh… Thingwy?’
‘Aye awright!’

thit –
That.

thoat –
Thought.
‘Sorry, ah thoat an auld ‘78’ player wid be a good idea. Ah thoat it wid be a kinna investmint innat.’
‘Investmint? Well ye kin jist invest some time an climb up intae the attic an look oot aw the auld 78s. An see if ye kin fine aplug while yir it it!’

tig –
Street game.
Ah hink wae covered this in aprevious Patter.

tim -
Empty out.
‘Tim that stuff oot an ah’ll make some fresh.’

toon –
Town.

tothir a baw –
No trouble.
‘No trouble at all’ becomes ‘nae trouble at aw’ which becomes ‘nae bother at aw’ which finally ends up as ‘nae tothir a baw.’

tattie. totty. –
Potato

toaty –
Very small
‘It wiz jist a wee toaty hing!’

tummle –
1) To fall ‘tae take a tummle.’
2) Realise ‘It took im a wee while bit eh finally tummilt tae the fact…’

tumshie –
Turnip or stupid person.

Bye furr noo
Bob

[CatrionaL]

A good read