Glesca Patter 4

[Moonwatcher]

Glesca Patter 4

First posted on SPDG 19 October 2003.

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Hullawrerr!

Just back from a week in the Outer Hebrides. If ye think Glaswegian Patter’s bad ye want tae try unnerstaunin the Gaelic! So far in this series we’ve looked at words, pronunciation and spelling used in The Patter but I’ve only briefly mentioned speed. A few years ago (well, more than a few actually!) I was on an instructor’s training course in Cheshire. I was having great difficulty in being understood – not an asset on an instructor’s course! I had curbed the Glasgow dialect but my accent was broad and I put the blame on that. I was put right by the course director (Yorkshireman, C Gostlow). He explained that he saw my accent as a distinct advantage – it attracted immediate attention and interest. The dialect I could keep on top of by keeping to english and avoiding ‘Glaswegianisms’. The problem, he stressed, was the speed at which I talked. He encouraged me to slow down and give people time to follow what I was saying. I passed the course and went on to become a senior training officer. I owe a lot to that guy.

Anyway, the moral of this story is that Glaswegians talk fast –very fast. The Scottish comedian Stanley Baxter capitalised on this in the 60s with a TV show containing sketches called ‘Parliamo Glasgow’. These were a parody of a serious Italian language programme of the time called Parliamo Italiano. Stanley’s scriptwriter (I forget his name) represented the speed of Glesca Patter by taking out the spaces between words and compressing whole words and even sentences together. Stanley Baxter delivered it brilliantly and did much to bring The Patter to the attention of the national public. It went something like this;

Tutor: A common word used by Glasgow natives is ‘Geeza’. This is used in the form of a request, as in “Geezaahnurrawaniraehingsourerr” and translates as ‘Give me another one of those things over there.’ It may be welcomed with the ancient cry of “Whodaeya!” “Whodaeya!” “Whodaeyahinkahmurryerbliddyskivvy?” (Who do you think I am, your servant?’ The young man on the receiving end of this rebuff may react by saying “Awayanbileyerheidyacrabbitsod!”

I’m afraid Stanley did it so much better than me. But this gives you the idea.

Ayrshire Wullie re. Lobey Dosser – I aint no Bud Neill! Lobey Dosser, the Calton cowboy for those who don’t know of him, was a creation of late cartoonist Bud Neill. He transplanted Glasgow’s Calton district into the wild west and made Lobey it’s Sheriff. His two legged horse, Effie, and the master villian Rank Badjin, joined a host of other characters in the imaginery western town. A ‘lobey dosser’, by the way, is a tramp or down and out (a dosser) who hangs about and sleeps in closes or entrances (a lobey) to buildings. Lobey is now less known but was on a par with such icons of Scottish cartoonery as Oor Wullie and the Broons. For those interested in Lobey and his gang try http://netsavvy.co.uk/lobey/

A – Z

boggin -
Smelly, rotten. “Pit yer shoes back oan, yer feet urr boggin!” Also, ‘bowfin’ means the same. To represent the correct tempo the phrase would be “Pityershoesbackoan yerfeeturrboggin!” Then, taking into account what we’ve already learned, we eliminate the ‘Ts’ – “Piyershoesbackoanyerfeeurrboggin!” Are you getting the hang of this yet?

brammer -
Something very good. “Yer new jaiket’s a brammer.” (Your new jacket’s very nice)

breenge -
Lunge forward. “Eh just breenged oot eh door an took a heider doon eh sters.” (He just lunged out the door and went head first down the stairs)

broo -
Old term for Employment Bureau, former name for the Department of Health and Social Security. “Ahve loast mah joab so ahm gaun doon tae sign oan the broo.” (I’ve lost my job so I’m going down to sign on as unemployed)

bummer -
Bad result. “Sorry tae hear aboot ye gettin caught fur speedin, whit a bummer!”
Leader or boss. “Kin ah talk tae the heid bummer?” (Can I speak with the boss?)

bunnit -
Usually a man’s cap. When refering to a short man wearing a cap one might say; “Don’t staun oan ah hat, thers sumdy unner it!”

bye -
Originally a football term. Now used to giving something a miss. “Ah wiz gauny go doon the pub but ah hink ah’ll gie it a bye.” (I was going to go to the pub but I think I’ll give it a miss)

C

canny, cannae -
“Ah canny dae it.” (I cannot do it)

carry (kerry) oot –
Take away food or drink. The latter is deemed a precious item. Often purchased after leaving the pub late at night, the odds against it reaching its destination intact (especially in bottled form) is not good. “Ah drapped mah kerry oot oan eh pavement an eh boattle smashed.” I dropped my carry out on the pavement (sidewalk) and the bottle smashed)

caur -
Motor car. “Mah dug goat noaked doon bih a caur.” (my dog got knocked down by a car)

chanty wrastler -
Used to insult someone who is reckoned to be incompetent. A chanty is a chamber pot (or poe). To wrastle is as in wrestle. Therefore we have ‘one who wrestles chamberpots?!! Whatever the translation, this colourful term remains one of my personal favourites. Try it next time you phone up to complain about some poor service received; “Yer jist a bunch a chanty-wrastlers!”

chin -
Complain. “Ah jist went up an chinned the waiter.”

chuckie or chuckiestane -
A small stone or peeble. “Who’s flingin chuckies at mah windae?”

clatty -
Dirty. “Away an wash (pronounced as in trash) yir hauns, thir clatty.”

close -
Common entrance and stairs to a tenement building. The close served/serves all residents of flats ‘up that close’. Each close carried/carries a number shared by all living there. Its important to bear this in mind when researching tenement addresses as there could be up to 20 flats/families sharing the one close and number.

cludgie -
Toilet.

coorie in -
Snuggle up or cuddle someone. “It wiz really cauld so we cooried intae each urra.”

cop -
To get what’s coming to you. “wan eh eez days yir gonnae cop yer whack!”

corrie fisted -
Left handed.

crabbit -
grumpy, irritable. “Away ya crabbit sod ye”. (Go away you grumpy person)

Right, enough of this. Ahm away tae try an dae a wee poem fur halloween.

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The said poem appeared the following week (Halloween) as Glesca Patter 5, you'll see it tomorrow night.

Bob.

[JohnC]

My mother's aunt (a rather prim and proper person - yes, there are a few of them in Glesca) once told me that she was in a cake-shop in Possilpark, and heard a small boy asking for "twa o' thae bum-cakes". The shop assistant picked up ... (wait for it) ... two meringues!

Meringues have never been the same since.

(Has anyone else heard this name for meringues, or was it a one-off?)

[AnneM]

Hi Moonwatcher

Delighted tae see the return of ra Glesga Patter. Having noo become a contributor masel I'm very aware of appreciating feedback so apologies for all the times I've not replied but believe me I've always been in stitches. So many of the expressions are well recognised being generic Clyde Coast. Please post them all again.

Anne

[janemar]

Lovely, guys. Keep at it. Set me up for the evening

[AndrewP]

Hi Moonwatcher

Delighted tae see the return of ra Glesga Patter. Having noo become a contributor masel I'm very aware of appreciating feedback so apologies for all the times I've not replied but believe me I've always been in stitches. So many of the expressions are well recognised being generic Clyde Coast. Please post them all again.

Anne

All the Glesga Patters (except the missing no.9) are here - work your way through pages 2 and 3 of this section of the forum.

All the best,

Andrew Paterson

[BillyF]

Just for all you fans oot ther , I work(well am employed) in the glesga unnergroun(subway to the west enders and us night shift workers get to see Rank Bajin Lobey Dosser an ElFideldo on oor travels as the maintenance wagons are called efter these heroes , aw well thought I wid share my rubbish with U all .