Okay, all eyes oan yer crystal balls [urr computer screens if yiz prefer]. This week ah'm callin up - alien antics fae the past; the truth aboot an ancestor's address; the spooky experience eh the death penny; an ah even get tae kiss an auld friend. Heids doon, here wae go...
Sumbiddy gave meh eh DVD boax set a 'Flash Gordon' itt christmas. Naw, no the moadirn 'Queen' version! – the original wans eh the 50s TV series. Black n' white, shaky, spaceships wae sparks flying fae the back eh thim, makin a noise lik an electric shaver. Thae wans! Well ah stertitt watchin thim durin eh week. Whit memries thae broat back. Bit ah tell ye, Flash (Buster Crabbe) wiznae aw eh wiz cracked up tae bae. Eh keeps gettin eezsell intae aw soarts ah boather an depends oan ithers tae get im oot it! Like;
FLASH: 'I'm not frightened of you, you seven foot hulk of muscular alien with wings and a fearsome weapon that can pulverise me – no, I can take you on with one hand!'
KING OF THE BIRD MEN: 'Ha! Ha! Ha!
Flash then get's seven bells knoaked oot im and gets strung up unner a death ray thit sterts tae finish im aff wae a slow agonisin death. The audience diznae ferr much better!
Then, iz the backgrun oachistra aw sterts tae play louder (could oachistras no aw play in tune in em days?) Flash's pal Dr Zarkov, urr some alien turncoat comes tae eez rescue an saves im fae the jaws a death! Great stuff – ah love it! An en err's Dale. Eh lovely Dale Arden [obviously named efter the Glesca Corporation bus route tae the city district eh the same name]. Ah nearly cawed urr Dale Evans ther, bit wiz she no Roy Rodger's burd, urr am ah hinkin eh eez dug?]. Anywae, Dale disnae dae anyhin ittaw, just stauns err an... looks lovely. She swoons a loat. Ah hink aht's how wimmin goat aboot in em days. People kerried thim aboot evrywher if Dale's anyhin tae go bae! Like;
DALE: 'Oh Flash (back of hand to forehead) you dont mean we have to cross that narrow rickety bridge over the bottomless pit with the boiling lava far below and the death rays zapping all around?
FLASH: 'Aye!'
(man a few words oor Flash, an ahm sure ah detectit a wee bit eh the glesca in im.)
DALE: 'Ohh! (She swoons, makin sure she faws intae eez erms and disnae get the nice dress dirty.)
FLASH: 'Zarkov, quick, carry Dale across the narrow rickety bridge over the bottomless pit with the boiling lava far below and the death rays zapping all around'.
ZARKOV: 'No way, I've got a bad back.'
FLASH: (To turncoat alien soldier in tights, herry erms an a big spear) Right! YOU carry Dale over the narrow rickety bridge over the bottomless pit with the boiling lava far below and the death rays zapping all around.'
ALIEN SOLDIER: 'Bit ah kerried urr eh last time, ah'm no kerryin urr again, she's too heavy!' [obviously a Glescsa alien abductee]
So Flash slings Dale ower eez shooder an makes eez wae ower the nerra rickity bridge ower eh boatimliss pit wae the boilin lava faur unnerneath an eh death rays zapping aw aroon. Of course, whin thae reach the ither end, Dale immediately revives and hugs her hero. An aht's how she gets aboot. Ah've yet tae see actually walk anywher. It's like a pers'nal teleportation system!
But the bit ah wiz waitin furr wiz the episode wae the big clawed moanster in eh cavern. 'The Cavern of Doom' it wiz cawed. Ah remember watchin this episode iz a wean an it terrified the... 'jobbies' oot eh meh! [Is it okay tae say jobbies? – ach ah've said noo anywae! Approved by AG Member] Err eh wiz, yir man Flash, leadin eh pack doon iss dark tunnel towards iss big widdin door. Evrybiddy telt im no eh go bit, typically, Flash isnae listenin. Dale's oot eh it already, it wiz too faur eh walk an she's already swooned back it eh entrance sumwherr. Anywae, Flash opens eh door an enters iss big cavern, an err it iz... this huge clawed moanster. It picks Flash up in wan it's claws an sterts tae crush im tae death. It's a long death, oh gawd it's a long death, plinty ah time tae go an pit eh kettle oan, an jist when ye hink oor bold boay's furr eh aff... the episode ends, an ye hiv tae wait tae eh next wan tae see whit happins! Well, aw thae years ago, as a wean, ahm greetin bae iss time wae mah hauns ower mah face, keekin through mah fingirs. An ahm no exaggeratin here, ah wiz truly terrified. So much so thit mah mother deciditt I'd no be allowed tae watch any merr episodes. An she kept that promise. So until a few nights ago, ah didnae know how Flash escaped eh claws eh the moanstir in eh Cavern of Doom! How did eh? Awae an buy yir ain bliddy DVD! An whit's aw this goat tae dae wae faimly histry anywae? Absolutely nuthin – jist thoat it'd gie yeez a laugh! : )
Right, when I wasn't watching Flash Gordon I found myself plodding through the Glasgow Valuation Roll in The Glasgow Story site [great site that]. I've only recently started to investigate this VR facility and it's been worth the effort. It's interesting to see if ancestors who were last seen in the 1901 Census were still at the same abode, or indeed in the same vicinity, 12 years later. I've found that few were. I was particularly confused by the fact that in one area, around Townhead, there was no trace of my mother's side. Yet I knew they lived there around that time. Then it dawned on me. I remember my mother and my gran telling stories of 'living with people, of sharing houses and facilities, and overcrowding. I have to assume that the family must have been lodging with others in the tenement and therefore would not appear as the actual tenant. My main discovery however was in finding out that one rellie, a GG Uncle on my Wilson side, who I knew was a 'church officer' and had been a hammerman on the Forth Bridge construction [a wee subtle plug slipped in ther
] actually lived on the premises at the Tharsis St Church in Garngad. Up until then, I thought his residence was just a normal address in Tharsis St. The old Church still stands in the Garngad [now Royston], although now somewhat isolated and run down. It's a very small affair but has always been a landmark. I stood outside it last year, while doing a 'reccy' of my hometown, not realising the building's true significance in terms of my GG Uncle JohnWilson and his family staying in it's tiny manse. His daughter, Elizabeth was married in the church during their tenure. Dont you just love it when wee bits of the jigsaw come together like this. Days of trawling through those Valuation Roles were justified by the discovery of this one tiny piece of information. It's like panning for gold.Now here's a spooky thing – I was looking through the wife's side of the family in preparation for our planned second family gathering in the spring (when I intend to focus on her Davidson line and do a wee presentation). I had her grandfather's WW1 medals on the table next to the computer and decided to take time out and have a look at the new Gallery on TS. I saw Drew's image of his grandfather's 'Death Penny'. I took a closer look and... the image was identical to the Death Penny lying a few inches away on the table! And I mean IDENTICAL. Right down to the name 'James Davidson'. James was killed in Flanders and is commemorated on the memorial at Nieport, France. It was the strangest thing to see this image on screen at the same time as Margaret's Grandad's was lying alongside!
Talking about France... I met an old friend during the week. Known her virtually all my life. I have to say, she's wearing it well – far better than me I found out, despite the fact that she's older. In fact she looks much the same as she did in the early 60s when we first met. She was the subject of my first kiss. We've kissed many times since, and last week we kissed again. I realised after our latest brief encounter that I knew very little of her life and background, so when I got home, I decided to do some research.
Scotland's People were of no use to me on this occasion for Anne had been born in France. As is so often the case in this genealogy game, I discovered that Anne was not her real name. Her exact birth details are unknown but she's thought to have been born in the late 1880s early 1890s, for she would have been in her late teens when her body was fished out of the River Seine some time during the first decade of the 1900s.
No one ever discovered what drove the young girl to jump into the cold dark river. It was said she was probably destitute. Her identity was unknown, but those who removed her from the water were struck by how pretty she was and saddened by the waste of such a young life. As was French custom at that time when dealing with unidentified bodies, a death mask was produced of her face. Eyes closed, looking for all the world as though she was merely asleep, her pretty face was preserved for all time. Copies of the mask circulated around Europe in the years that followed. It seems they were considered 'fashionable' and were hung on walls of homes!
In 1958 a Norwegian toy maker, Asmund Laerdal, specialising in the new material of soft plastic, found himself in discussion with a physician, Dr Peter Safar who is considered the father of modern resuscitation techniques. The topic of conversation was the new technique of mouth to mouth resuscitation - 'The Kiss of Life'. Between them they developed a resuscitation manikin which produced an effective means of learning and practicing the skills of mouth to mouth artificial ventilation. They wanted a realistic face for the manikin and Laerdal remembered seeing a copy of the death mask of the 'Girl from the Seine'. It seemed an apprpriate choice and the girl's face was transposed onto that of the manikin and given a name... Anne. Resusci Anne.
I began my aquaintence with 'Annie' in the early 60s. First Aid classes in the Boy's Brigade followed by membership of St Andrew's Ambulance Association, then RGN and EMT training. In the 80s, by then a professional trainer myself, I demonstrated, assessed, passed and failed others as Annie lay staring lifeless at the ceiling. I watched as some demonstrated their skills with ease, while others sweated, cursed and fought to save pride, reputation and in some cases – their jobs. Annie didn't care. She commands respect. It's not a game, she knows how important her role is and doesn't suffer fools, or the incompetent, lightly. Anne has been instrumental in saving countless lives the world over.
In the words of Dr Safar, 'Death is not the enemy – but occasionally it needs some help with timing'.
So, when I completed a two day first aid refresher course earlier in the week, I found myself face to face once again with my old friend. She looked just the same as she did all those years ago when we first met. I did not. My knees ached when I knelt beside her and I sensed that, although I inflated her lungs effectively, it was with more effort than I recall in times past. When I stood up I felt a little light headed. Annie didn't care.
I'm sure many of you have met Annie. What stories do you have of your encounter?
Right, that ither love of mah life hiz jist remindit meh thit wurr oot a breid an mulk. Ah need tae go roon tae the Co-op, an it's rainin buckits. Mibby if ah swoon sumdy'll kerry meh roon. Until next week - keep cybering.
Bob.