Rumour Control.....

[mesklin]

Been told to look out for Wednesdays. A French bird told me.

M

[CatrionaL]

Eh????

Catriona

[mesklin]

Catriona

Ce n'est pas les oiseaux de la France. La Nouvelle-Orléans est la plus proche

M

[Moonwatcher]

Hope yoor no talkin dirty wae aw aht french stuff?

Bob

[mesklin]

Bob

It's whit ye w'd ca' a clue!

M

[Moonwatcher]

'Le tran por Paris arrive et midi et quatre!'

Disnae mean a bliddy hing oan this thread bit it's the only bit ah french thit's stied wae meh fae school. Coz ah hid tae write it oot 200 times! No even sure whit it means!

Bob.

[AnnetteR]

Hallorer

Je suis tres 'confused' tae say eh least. Birds, Trains, French wimmin, clues - whit's this awe aboot

Je ne understandy pas so will un person let me savie whit's goin oan s'il vous plate!

Au revoir eh noo

Annette

[mesklin]

It's a thing that people wanted
And we've had just one before
Well, we missed the one on Tuesday
Would you weight for one day more.

C'mon you lot. No Hercules Parrot fans out there? Do we have to keep handing out the clues? Every clue adds up to the answer.

M

[Moonwatcher]

Right, in an effirt tae solve the puzzle eh the logo. Ah've conductit extensive, painstaking research usin modirn frenzied medicine techniques such iz IT technology, mah glesses, Dweezild's idiot's guide tae wurkin wae computirs, an a boattle a Co-op own brand, 5 month old, nearly malt whisky. Mah findins urr iz foalies (hic!);

First, ah saved the logo intae the 'Mah Pictirs' bit eh mah computir. That pits it in a wee folder thit, if ye click oan it, shows ye aw the stuff thit's in it. Then ah opint it an doonloadit the file. [Oops, wrang picture! Nice wan though – must try an use the clonin tool tae remove the staples!] Right, goat the right wan noo. Ther thae urr – Mrs Haunless an urr man, wavin tae the three folk thit hiv jist trekked up fae the beach. If ye look closely at the beach (that's eh green bit bae the wae!) ye'll see it resembles an aul man wae a big hook nose, wide open mooth an a chin thit wid embarrass Bruce Forsyth. Jist unner eh nose, lik a big bogey hingin fae it, is the boat. Noo, HMS Bogey disnae look like it'd make ower Hogganfield Loch oan a calm day, never mine croass eh mighty ocean innat! In fact it looks as if it's gied up the ghost an iz lyin oan it's side. Iss iz oor furst clue thit these three folk hiv jist arrived – an bae the skin eh thir teeth bae the looks eh it! Mrs Haunless iz greetin eh new faimly bae wavin urr stump at thim. This is skerrin eh wee boay who's haudin eez ain haun up an screamin 'Daddy! Aht wummin's no aw ther! Let's go hame again!' To whit eez faither's sayin 'Furget it, thirs nae wae ahm gettin oan aht boat again!'
Mrs Bogey (since wae dont know thir real names wull jist call thim efter the boat) is haudin somethin in her erms. Noo this sumhin hiz bin the subjict eh considrible debate. So, [an iss iz eh technical bit] ah copied an pasted the logo intae a great wee software programme called 'Paint'. An en ah blew it up. Naw no literally! Ah zooomed in oan it. Centirt in oan the mystery oabjict an took the magnification up tae x800, clevir eh? Whit a saw wiz astoundin, well merr confisin really. Ther in front eh mah very eyes, wiz the BBC Test Cerd! Bit withoot the wee lassie in the red dress drawin crosses oan the blackboard – she wiz gaun! So whit urr mah conclusions fae this? Well a reckon that Co-op whisky needs checked oot furr wan hing! Second, ah stull believe it's a broon paper bag wae, iz Jack suggests, squerr slice soasage, a Mothers Pride plain loaf, black puddin, fruit puddin, an a boattle a Irn Bru, coz let's face it aht's whit ye alwaes take wae ye when ye leave eh country (Scotland), eh rellies in foreign perts windae furgive ye if ye furgoat any eh the essentials wid thae? As furr the cummin urr gaun – aht's easy! If thae wurr gaun thae'd hiv thir backs tae the Haunlesses. The Bogeys wid bae lookin ower thir shooders thinkin 'Gled tae bae rid eh that perr!' Thir facin eh wrang wae tae bae leavin. Simple iz aht. (Hic!)

[mesklin]

Innit a shame, noo that Moonwatcher his reasoned it aw oot, that the Mystery has absolutely nuthin tae dae wi the TS logo, in any shape or form (colour? perhaps...).

Fur 'Whit's in the bag', see My Scotland.

This is a new mystery, an nane o yis is even warm!

So there

M