A guid Scots Gentleman

Post by **joette** » Mon Aug 21, 2006 10:20 am

It was with great sadness & loss that my lovely Uncle Tommy died last week.
He was born in the home of his paternal Grandparents & after a protracted four day labour was delivered "stillborn".He weighed 11lbs 4ozs& as he was the first child of a very slender,5" 1 mother all attention was on her as she had a post-partum haemorraghe.
He was taken to the front room by his Grandmother who had had the loss in infancy of her own wee Annie & the loss of her beloved boy Thomas in 1917 in France & Flanders.She worked on him massaging & blowing into his mouth & was eventually rewarded with a feeble cry-the only feeble thing he did in his life.
He became my Mother's beloved elder brother -her protector mainly but on occasions her tormentor.When evacuated during the War he made sure that all three siblings were billeted together as he had been admonished by his Mother to do.They had many adventures on the estate of the Robertson Jam people.
After serving his apprenticeship he was off to the Army for his National Service.He always wanted to travel & on hearing that the Black Watch were off to the Middle East or India he went to his C.O & gave a heart-rending tale of his namesake who had served in the Black Watch & who was KIA in WW1 & how he would so love to be transferred to his "family" Regiment.Only problem was his Uncle had served in the Argylls!
Anyway he was hoisted by his own petard & ended up in a battalion which was posted to Germany & thus was part of the Berlin airlift.
I would not be here if had not been for him as he & my Dad were best friends & thus my parents met & the rest is history.
His wander-lust continued & he travelled to Africa-after being best man at my parent's marriage.
He then moved to Singapore where he made his home for 25 years.Working as the Superintendent of the Dockyards there.
A telegram would arrive announcing his arrival on the same/next day & it was no uncommon thing to come home from school & find them there.
He met a beautiful,funny woman named Lejah & after he converted to Islam they married & had two lovely girls.
I can still remember their excitement the first time they saw snow.
They would live with us for weeks all topping & tailing(the children!).
Uncle Tommy always paid an allowance to his Mother which as one of six siblings was always gratefully recieved.
He had an apptitude for languages & a love of Opera.He loved guitar music especially the acoustic variety.He was self-educated & a lover of crosswords.He could make the best curry in the world & was never happier than when pottering in the kitchen & then feeding you the results.
He & the family returned to Scotland in the early seventies& he & my Dad often reverted back to being naughty schoolboys.On one memorable occasion-after a few amber nectars had been consumed they had a bike & scooter race on my brothers vehicles!My brothers were both under eight at the time!
He was a tower of strength when my Daddy died so young.He became like our Daddy & later a Grandpa to my nieces & nephews.
Young people were drawn to him & he was a popular figure amongst the friends of his grandchildren.He seemed to "get them" without trying to be their friend or "hip" or "cool".
He loved cars & driving.He could handle a car like a musical instrument & I always felt safe with him at the wheel.
His big heart & generous nature & his innate good manners made him in all senses of the word a gentleman.He was a true Scot who loved his country,knew & loved its history.
From the boy who helped his Father put out incendary devices during the Blitz to the nine year old who tried to make chewing gum from mint & sugar to the dandy whistling down the avenue in his Father's borrowed finery(without permission),the lovely smile & always the most delicious aftershave.Always my beloved Uncle & 2nd Daddy.
He will be lying looking at the Old Kilpatrick hills next to his parents & again with his beloved Jah & just a handspan from his little brother & close enough to give my Dad a wave.

AnnieMack · Post by **AnnieMack** » Mon Aug 21, 2006 10:27 am

Joette you have taken my breath away with your beautiful writing in memory of your uncle Tommy. Thank you for sharing that with us, it has brought a lump to my throat.

Annie xx

JustJean · Post by **JustJean** » Mon Aug 21, 2006 1:43 pm

Joette I too have a lump and misty eyes. In the short span of a few paragraphs you allowed us all to come to know uncle Tommy in ways that can only be felt in the heart. Thank you for your gift and for sharing it with us. I hope in some way you can take comfort from this in your extreme time of sorrow.

Very best wishes
Jean

Post by **emanday** » Mon Aug 21, 2006 2:00 pm

Joette,

You memories of your Uncle Tommy are wonderful to read and the deep affection he was held in is very apparent.

I am sure he will rest in peace knowing that he has, indeed, achieved the true immortality of remaining in the memories of those who loved him.

mallog · Post by **mallog** » Mon Aug 21, 2006 2:33 pm

Joette

How blessed you have been to have had someone like this in your life

Mallog

Post by **joette** » Mon Aug 21, 2006 2:51 pm

Thanks for your kind thoughts.He was such an influence on so many people's lives & the sad thing is I never told him how much he had influenced mine.He looked so like my Grandpa excepting that he was a few inches smaller & he talked like him too.I never heard him swear-despite all those years in the army & shipyards.
I lost my baggage at Heathrow last night & normally I would have been hoping with rage but I just thought "now Uncle T would have been calm & polite" so I was.Wouldn't have been so calm if I had realised that a lot of family history was in the missing bag.I also thought that the Victorians had a point with black armbands as I sobbed my heart out at Heathrow.If we still showed the outward sign of bereavement then people would have realised I was not a lunatic.Sunglasses hide a multitude of sins.
My sister's ceiling collapsed,my 3 year old nephew "posted" almost £300 pounds out of his window,my niece had suspected meningitis & several family members have a horrible virus.All in all a truely "Fortnighly Horriblus"

mallog · Post by **mallog** » Mon Aug 21, 2006 4:22 pm

Please be careful Joette as the weeks following a bereavement can be accident prone. Re-armbands when my Mother died my kids were very young and I had to carry on and take them to playgroup/school etc and I remember saying then that I thought there was a lot to be said for black armbands. It would be a sign to others not to expect you to be your usual self.

Mallog